Trust…

It is a strange thing… I have found that many times when I meet people, I either simply trust them or I don’t. And often what happens is that as I get to know people I start to trust them even more…

Guess you can say that I often like to see that everyone has good in them and are trustworthy even when I’ve just met them…

TrustThe other night I was thinking about this trust thing, and I realised that I had trusted my ex completely (3 years ago) and even though now we are good friends, we chat now and then and there aren’t any crappy feelings between us, I find that I simply cannot trust him. I read status updates and stuff like that and I can’t find anything remotely genuine in his updates. I read it and it says to me, “I’m talking rubbish”.

I am over him and I have forgiven him for my heartache, yet I have an inability to trust him again. This got me thinking… (What doesn’t right?)

Trust is so easy (for me) to have in others, yet once its been broken there is no going back to that same level of trust… Least I haven’t experienced being able to patch up broken trust like that.

Then I saw a Ted Talk today in another blog that made me think a little more about this…

When we don’t have trust we place restrictions on relationships… Like if ones doesn’t think someone is going to pay back some money, one isn’t going to trust them with another loan… Or the rules and regulations within the schooling system- the students aren’t trusted- not even enough to be able to have a say in the rules that will be governed over them… But that’s now a topic for another post…

Isn’t marriage like this to a certain extent? The rules are to be loyal forever, to be there through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, etc etc… And when those rules are broken they are then the grounds upon which you can get divorced… (yes, there are many people out there for whom marriage really is a sacred union- the next step for the relationship, I’m not meaning to take a jab at them)

The whole point of bringing marriage into this trust thing is that there is a population of people out there that want the commitment for marriage before having sex with their partners… Does this mean that there is a lack of trust there that you have to have agreement to the “rules” before you can be with your partner in that way? And in that case do you really want to be marrying that person?

So I thought that trust was easy for me and that it is only broken trust that cannot be given back… I’m not so sure anymore… I fall into that population of wanting that commitment first…  Old fashioned indeed… yet guess the “Indian culture” is really instilled in me lol. And maybe one day that will change… who knows?

What are your thoughts on commitment? And trust…

(Photo Courtsey http://www.socialh.com )

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. potatosandwich
    Jun 24, 2011 @ 16:00:34

    It’s the old saying, Trust is like respect, takes years in the making and in a blink of an eye you can loose it all.

    Trust should be incremental, build it up slowly as you get to know the person more, don’t be too foolish in granting 100% trust straight away.

    I believe in “second chances”, however understand that this may take that much longer to repair and rebuild trust. We are humans and designed to make mistakes, break trusts, it’s in our nature, that’s how we learn. Compassion is characteristic only some posses, but above all you should have the more of forgiveness.

    Re: sex before marriage, it’s not about trust, but about pride and protecting one’s humility. I am old fashioned and just can never understand why people can’t wait!!! But that’s another post for another day.

    Have Fun

    Reply

    • Shil Rani
      Jun 24, 2011 @ 18:32:53

      Yes! Forgiveness seems to be the key to a peaceful and happy life and heart. Not simply forgiving others but yourself too!

      Hmmm… interesting thought- sex is about pride and humility.. thats food for thought for me! lol But then what dont I think about right? Lol
      And yes, I also dont understand how people can go about sex so casually.. and than again I havent walked in their shoes and so I dont know the meaning sex has for them… Each to his own I guess..

      Thanks! Have heaps of fun too!

      Reply

  2. Trackback: Tears can be Good? « Shil Rani's Blog !

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