Tested Faith

New Year GoalsIt’s the beginning of the new year…. Everyone has a bunch of new things they want to achieve in the New Year. They have clarity- there are a bunch of things they want to leave behind and different things they would like to carry on into this year.

I’m not so sure. Life seems to have brought to me to the place where I can see clearly what I need to be now to create the life I want for the future. But I’m not there yet. And it’s difficult to flow with life when there is this disparity. In fact it breeds a frustration that’s like a ferocious bull desperate to finish off the red cape and the matador with it.

As everyone around me took stock of their lives and then created goals they want to achieve this year so as to take them closer toward a bigger picture they envision for themselves, I too tried to do the same.

Working and StudyingI work at a youth development organization- a non-profit, I don’t earn as much I would like to (although I think no one quite ever earns as much as they want- but that’s another blog). I am currently studying towards my first degree on a student loan. I am getting engaged this year. I am learning to drive.

The things I would love to achieve- finish my degree and pay it off as soon as possible. I will need a nice bunch of money to get married. I will want a car sometime soon. I’d love to put myself on a medical aid and join the gym. I also want to travel heaps.

Now that I have listed the things I want to achieve maybe it has become clear why I am not where I would like to be in life. A major factor is money. All my goals need a financial input. A financial input that I cannot fill with my current salary.

InspirationMy whole being is in a type of resistance. I want to be in a space that can let me grow my life to achieve all those goals and at the same time I can’t see a road/path that will lead me there.

This past weekend taught me an important lesson that I think is going to be the one thing I really truly carry with me into 2015 and the rest of my life- it’s all material. My actual riches are the amazing eternal love I have in my soon to be fiancé; the unbelievable impact on young South Africans I have a hand in, through the organisation I work at; the incredible knowledge I am gaining in my studies and the new freedom I will have once I get my driving licence.
Above all I have abundant grace of the Lord showering over me now and forever.

Universal LoveThis past weekend also taught me that whatever is to be, will be. And it is by flowing down that glorious river of everything’s-going-to-work-out that I can really come to achieve anything and everything. Resistance will get me into frustration and letting it all go will soar me into success.

After a year of some crazy stuff I have come back to something that really aligns with me- Live your dreams, not just your life! And its faith in those dreams that will get you there- not the perspective you actually see now.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Heena Patel
    Jan 14, 2015 @ 02:41:15

    ❤ ❤ ❤ I too remind myself often that it is all material – and I have so many more riches and wealth. Tuning into the wealth (the true wealth) you possess elevates you like nothing else and then you realise that it is all with GRACE. Without divine grace we have nothing! AND it is all an illusion, AND it can all change in a heartbeat! These are my learnings from my past.
    Insightful blog 🙂


  2. Yatish Bhula Madhav
    Jan 14, 2015 @ 10:50:42

    Mmmmm amazing read, love!

    And indeed material … it’s like the material world and non-material worlds are connected by these desires and wants and what not. Mmm so you used the words ‘want’ 9 times in this post, ‘need’ 3 times and ‘have’ 8 times 😀 yup, a lil bit of an analyst in me LOL but that I think it shows (to me at least and just for me too) what I once spoke to you of – that it is not so much or at all of where you want to be and what you want (future) OR where you were and what you had (past), but rather of where you are and what you have (present) … Tada! Look you you already have a gift!


    • Shilpa
      Mar 23, 2015 @ 18:32:52

      Oh My Gosh! I didn’t realise the want, need and have…. ! WOW! Thank you for pointing it out. Just shows where my focus was!
      Yes! The present is the most precious. The rest doesn’t need my attention.

      Thank you.


  3. Neena Rama
    Jan 15, 2015 @ 10:42:51

    I have been digesting this for a few days…….because the resolution trap each year gets me too.
    Resolution comes from Resolve……So we create resolutions in order to resolve something……what is that something?
    I chose a little something, a tendency I have, and decided that is what this year will be for me…..so it’s an internal change I am looking for. I have found that there is a spin off effect….an adjustment and discovery and uncovering of the different aspects on the path to my resolution. It’s beautiful :).
    I also heard a psychologist on the radio advise that the goals we set must be realistic and achievable, or we set ourselves up for failure.
    I too have felt the angst related to looking forward and wanting the big changes…..I have found that there are many little things that need to fall into place before reaching the BIG one. And generally, if you look carefully, you are on the path. It’s already happening and resolving in the here and now, as you have discovered too:).
    And then finally, we feel the energy of the New Year, which it real and affects us. I feel like this is so because we measure our lives in this way, which essentially is a human construct…..we follow a particular calendar (we have two, one is religious, and we have another New Year we celebrate—-How is it that the pull there is missing to make resolutions), we have holidays we schedule, the work year also does a turn around as does the school year……….But financial year end is at a different time, tax year at another depending on who you are, America has Summer Holidays for schools, etc.
    The Animal Kingdom follows the rhythm of the seasons…..I wonder if they feel the need for New Year’s Resolutions 😀 😉 :).


    • Shilpa
      Mar 23, 2015 @ 18:29:56

      I totally agree! Yats always says that the time is now.
      Its really a construct of the mind- the illusion of this world.
      But as we live in this world we get so influenced by the “moving of time”.
      And yes.. small changes to get to the bigger ones.
      Thanks heaps for the insight and the visit!



  4. Neena Rama
    Jan 15, 2015 @ 10:50:16

    I just LOVE this line in your Blog:

    “In fact it breeds a frustration that’s like a ferocious bull desperate to finish off the red cape and the matador with it.”

    So expressive this image! It’s a quotation worth any book of quotes. Brilliant writing.


  5. Neena Rama
    Jan 15, 2015 @ 10:53:49

    What a beautiful insight and awareness of your experience:

    “My whole being is in a type of resistance.”


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